What this book is about
This book explains why loneliness appears after moving abroad, even when life looks good from the outside. It covers the five types of loneliness expats experience, practical, social, emotional, cultural and identity, and gives you a structured, research-grounded path for building genuine belonging. It is not a guide to packing or visa applications. It is the book for after the boxes are unpacked, when the novelty has faded and the silence is louder than you expected.
Who is this book for?
- Expats at any stage of the move
- Retirees living abroad or planning to
- Solo movers who arrived without a built-in companion
- Trailing partners who moved for someone else
- Couples adjusting at different speeds
- Introverts who need connection but on their own terms
- Remote workers living abroad
- Anyone who has moved after a major life change
Why do people feel lonely after moving abroad?
When you move country, you do not only change your address. You lose the invisible scaffolding that used to hold your life. The familiar face at the bakery. The friend who understood your humour without explanation. The confidence of knowing how ordinary things work. That loss is real, even when the sun is shining.
Research published in Psychology and Aging in 2025 found that international retirement migrants experience significantly higher rates of social loneliness than those who remain in their home country, even when they live with a partner. Emotional loneliness was particularly elevated in the early years. These are not signs of personal failure. They are the predictable consequences of a major life transition.
This book draws on that research, on the author's cross cultural experience of living and working across multiple countries, and on more than twenty five years inside high pressure environments where identity, confidence and belonging intersect every day.
What is inside the book
The book is divided into five parts. Part One explains the loneliness no one mentions and why it appears when it does. Part Two covers the five hidden types of loneliness abroad. Part Three builds belonging practically, without forcing you to become a different person. Part Four addresses the hard days, Sundays, homesickness, disappointment and when loneliness comes back. Part Five is about building a life that finally feels like yours.
- 20 chapters covering every aspect of expat loneliness
- Specific chapters for retirees, solo movers, trailing partners, introverts and couples
- Research-grounded sections on the nervous system and social connection
- A chapter on pets and dogs as a genuine social tool abroad
- Practical exercises at the end of every chapter
- The Seven Day Belonging Reset
- References to companion books including The Nervous System Tax, The Enough Effect, The Self-Reliance Trap and Red Flag Ready
About the author
Donna Sunario BSc is an Author, Behaviour Strategist and Educator. Her books are grounded in psychology and neuroscience, with a particular focus on how the nervous system shapes identity, confidence, belonging and behaviour under pressure.
Donna Sunario BSc spent more than twenty five years working inside demanding corporate environments, including Goldman Sachs, BP and Accenture. Of London based Irish Indonesian heritage, she brings a cross cultural perspective shaped by living and working across multiple countries and industries.
She writes at the intersection of behavioural science, nervous system regulation and professional life, translating complex ideas into clear, practical insight for people who want to understand themselves without being reduced to labels.