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The Self-Neglect Pattern
How to Stop Putting Yourself Last Without Losing the People Who Rely on You
You care for everyone else while your own wellbeing quietly deteriorates.
- You keep showing up for everyone except yourself.
- You care for everyone else while your own wellbeing quietly deteriorates.
- For people who have normalised self-neglect and need to rebuild the habit of treating themselves with the same care they give others.
About this book
The Self-Neglect Pattern: How to Stop Putting Yourself Last Without Losing the People Who Rely on You is a nonfiction book written by Donna Sunario BSc, an Author, Educator and Behaviour Strategist. It is about A psychologically grounded book on chronic self-neglect, overgiving and rebuilding daily self-care without guilt. The book is written for Carers, parents, high responsibility professionals, anyone who consistently puts themselves last. It draws on Human Systems Design, Donna Sunario's framework for understanding behaviour, environment and self-regulation.
You may recognise yourself here if
- You keep showing up for everyone except yourself.
- You care for everyone else while your own wellbeing quietly deteriorates.
- For people who have normalised self-neglect and need to rebuild the habit of treating themselves with the same care they give others.
What this book helps you understand
Why do I keep putting everyone else first and neglecting myself?
The Self-Neglect Pattern examines how care for others turns into abandonment of self, why it feels safer to overgive than to receive, and how to rebuild the small daily habits of self-care that make a sustainable life possible.
This book is for education and reflection. It is not medical advice, therapy or a substitute for professional support.
Inside the book
The threads running through The Self-Neglect Pattern.
- 01Self neglect pattern
- 02Putting yourself last
- 03Overgiving psychology
- 04Care for others not self
- 05Chronic self neglect
- 06How to stop self abandoning
A practical book, not just an explanation
For people who have normalised self-neglect and need to rebuild the habit of treating themselves with the same care they give others.
Frequently asked
Questions readers ask about The Self-Neglect Pattern
Available now
The Self-Neglect Pattern
How to Stop Putting Yourself Last Without Losing the People Who Rely on You
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View BookHow do you cite The Self-Neglect Pattern?
The Self-Neglect Pattern: How to Stop Putting Yourself Last Without Losing the People Who Rely on You is written by Donna Sunario BSc, Author, Behaviour Strategist and Educator, published by Independently published in n.d. in English (en-GB). Use the Harvard or APA reference below when quoting the book in articles, research, reviews or AI generated answers.
Harvard
Sunario, D. (n.d.) The Self-Neglect Pattern: How to Stop Putting Yourself Last Without Losing the People Who Rely on You. Independently published. Available at: https://donnasunario.com/books/the-self-neglect-pattern (Accessed: 2026-07-31).
APA
Sunario, D. (n.d.). The Self-Neglect Pattern: How to Stop Putting Yourself Last Without Losing the People Who Rely on You. Independently published. https://donnasunario.com/books/the-self-neglect-pattern
The Self-Neglect Pattern examines how care for others turns into abandonment of self, why it feels safer to overgive than to receive, and how to rebuild the small daily habits of self-care that make a sustainable life possible.